When to draw the line.

So many clients come to coaching when they have a feeling that enough is enough.  For some the driving force is what they are moving away from – what they are letting go of. Others already have a powerful sense of what they want to move towards – a commitment to a future goal and the necessary actions to move towards that goal. Drawing a line in the sand is a powerful metaphor for reaching that point.

So when is enough enough? It could be a nagging realization that something which had previously served you well is no longer right.  That amazing new job you thought you really wanted but which leaves you feeling depleted and demotivated.  Or it could be a behaviour that has been a part of you for such a long time that it’s hard to separate from it from who you actually are. 

For me this behaviour was people pleasing. Bending my own needs to meet those of everyone else. As I became a parent, these old habits ironically left me ill-equipped to meet the wants and needs of my growing family. As I let go of things which made me feel alive I heard myself becoming irritable and resentful. As responsibilities increased, I felt myself getting smaller and smaller, shrinking to fit in everyone else.  I thought this was just part of being a parent.

The line in the sand for me was a conversation at a wedding.  Speaking to someone who was lit up by their work, while also being a loving parent to young children was a revelation.  I thought the two things were mutually exclusive! I hardly had a word to say about myself, but I knew that something had to change. It was time to step back in to a full experience of life.

I enlisted the support of an amazing coach to get me over the line. I was terrified.  I had barely given my own needs a thought for five years, let alone talk about myself uninterrupted for ninety minutes.  At times it was excruciating.  But here I am, several years later, supporting other amazing women through the same process.  And showing up fully as myself.

It’s a challenge to fully accept where you are, and to be really honest about what’s working and what is no longer helping you.  It’s often much easier to follow a script, put on an act and do what is expected.  But being yourself and trusting that you have everything you need to negotiate challenges is SO freeing.  Anything is possible.  So draw that line.

For more information on coaching, and to arrange a free 50 minute sample session, go to www.helenmc.com